It's the year 2010 (but not for long!)

One morning in early December 2003 I woke up extremely relieved and glad to discover that it was in fact still 2003. I had just had a dream in which it was already 2004, and in my dream I was so sad because I had loved 2003 (particularly its fall) so much and I didn't want it to be over yet. December is an odd month in that way - it's usually a lot of fun and a good way to end the year; but it's also bittersweet because the year is ending, and even if there's lots to look forward to in the new year, it can still be sad saying goodbye.

I like songs that mention dates; that set themselves squarely in a certain period, such that whenever you listen to that song later you're taken back. The best two examples I can think of are Mariah Carey's Cruise Control which starts with Damian Marley (who was featured on that song) saying "2008...Watch It!" and then Mariah comes in. I love that because whenever I listen to that song now (or have listened to it since it came out) I always think about a. the first time I ever heard it in A.'s old apt in Kansas City in April 2008 and b. all those times that April and May I repeatedly listened to it. On their latest cd which they released in May 2010, Broken Social Scene has a song called "Water in Hell" which contains the line "It's the year 2010" - which I also love. It's so perfect right now... but in just a few days it won't apply anymore! Though it will still be cool to listen to it in years to come and look back nostalgically on 2010.

Though I usually spend a fair bit of time throughout the month of December thinking about the year ahead, I haven't had plans on New Year's Eve since I was 18 - 8 years ago! I like staying home, which is probably why one of my favourite scenes in the L-Word was from an episode in Season 5 when the power went out in LA causing Bette and Tina to get stuck in an elevator en route to their therapist's office. Stranded (at least for a little while) they proceed to sit facing each other, both leaning against opposite walls of the elevator, and discuss why they are good together and what their relationship would be like if they got back together. One of the points Tina makes is that they both like staying home on New Year's Eve. I loved that point! It's not that I don't think a relationship could work if one person loves partying on New Year's and the other likes staying home, but I do think it's easier if both people agree!

I cared a lot (read too much) about New Year's Eve in high school, and always had to be going to a party or doing something with friends because I felt like such a loser if I didn't. A guy at my high school, A.S.R. always went to the movies on New Year's Eve with his mom and her friend. However, they could never agree on which movie to go see, so each of them went to their own, all starting around the same time so they could arrive and leave the theater together. Even though I thought that was super cool, I still felt the urgent need to be doing something with friends. Happily, I now no longer care if other people think I'm a loser (and fortunately, I know they don't) and so I do what I like best and stay home. I'm not sure exactly why I don't like going out on New Year's though since I love champagne and like fireworks - two essential components of the evening. It's also not that I don't like socializing. I enjoy having or attending dinner parties or bigger parties for that matter. Maybe, and I think this is probably the best explanation, it's the hype that surrounds the evening. There seems to be a lot of pressure to have a good time. It's not just a regular party or evening out, it's New Year's Eve !!!! (the exclamation marks are essential!) and everyone must have a fabulous time, or else, it is implied, the year is off to a bad start. All that said, if all my best friends happened to be in the same place on New Year's Eve, of course I'd want to get together with them and of course I'd stay awake until midnight. But when I'm just at home or on vacation with my parents, I like having a glass of champagne with dinner, another with dessert, and then getting into bed with my book, going to sleep in one year and waking up in another.

A bookworm's favourite place

I have always loved being surrounded by stacks & shelves of books, be it in bookstores, libraries or my bedroom in Toronto. Sometimes I think that in the future house I eventually live in I want to have a library, like those old-fashioned country estates in the English countryside that I've only ever seen in movies or read about in books always seem to have. But then I think that it's really better to have books spread out across every room of the house.

The libraries on the Berkeley campus were the best, and will always be my favourites! I like the law library at McGill. It's pretty nice and some of the rooms have huge windows which is great. But nothing will replace the Berkeley libraries. During finals time I used to love studying at different libraries throughout campus because the main libraries got too busy. My favourite was the business library followed by the music library. But during the regular semester, I stuck to Doe (side note: to this day my most favourite public bathroom is in Doe. It was always clean, had windows overlooking this main part of campus, and had the best, biggest and most flattering mirrors!). L and I would go to the library together all the time. We were among the small group of (proudly) nerdy students who were standing outside the front doors before 1 pm on Sundays waiting for the campanile to strike 1 pm, for the doors to open and for our studying to begin! I liked both the main and east reading rooms on the second floor of Doe. They were very grand, and distinguished, but still comfortable. But L. and I also loved studying in the stacks which went floors underground. Throughout the fall of 2004 when we both lived on northside, L. and I went to Doe together several nights a week. We especially loved being there on the nights C.M. worked (he was a check-out clerk) and we'd hear his voice reaching through the intercom that went throughout the whole library announcing the closing of the circulation desk at Doe (at 9 pm) but assuring us that the library remained open for studying until 2 am (although we usually left by 10 pm anyway). C.M. lived at my co-op and was an all-round super cool and attractive guy who L. and I both had crushes on despite his having a girlfriend. My favourite part of our evenings at Doe was always our walks home. We were happy because we'd accomplished some good studying and then we could just talk and laugh about other things. The following fall (of 2005) I missed L. (who was still in Santiago) the most the nights I studied at Doe, especially when someone else's voice would announce the circulation desk's closing time. C.M. had graduated (and presumably gone on to bigger and better things), L. was enjoying springtime (my favourite season, which I had missed that year due to my being in Santiago then too!) near the bottom of the world, and I walked home from the library on those dark fall nights missing how things used to be.

My love of libraries extends to city public library systems as well. At the end of July 2006 I went to New York for the weekend to visit N. who was there for the summer. I got in mid-morning on the Friday but N. was at work until 5 pm. I had originally planned to just walk around and maybe go to a museum but the bus I took in to Manhattan from La Guardia dropped me off in front of the New York Public Library. Fueled by both curiosity and a desire to keep reading my book - Julia Alvarez's In the Time of the Butterflies (if you haven't read it, you should!) I went in. After finding a reading room which reminded me of the East Reading Room of Doe, I sat down, read my book and occasionally looked up either to people-watch or to admiringly think about what a beautiful library it was. I emerged 3 hours later back into the bright afternoon sunshine feeling happier than when I'd gone in that morning. I've been back to New York twice since then but haven't gone to the library either time, being too busy shopping, walking, talking, visiting cupcake shops etc. But I don't mind; the library fit the circumstances of that July day perfectly, and I feel certain I'll one day go back.

Last fall after moving back to Toronto I discovered the awesomeness that is the Toronto Public Library system. There are so many branches all over the city, and two within easy walking distance from my house. Aside from checking out Red Hot Chili Pepper's Anthony Kiedis' memoir Scar Tissue (at M.'s recommendation!) one winter break while I was still at Berkeley, I hadn't gone into/used the TPL in years. Back when I was 13/14 I regularly visited the library to check out Baby Sitters Club books. But after I stopped reading those, I didn't use the library that much. I've always liked owning books just because I do re-read books from time to time, and because, as I wrote above, I like being surrounded by books. But last fall I started using it again. First because I needed a few books to help me with my classes at Seneca, and then because I started using it for books I wanted to read but just didn't want to own or buy. (Usually kind of trashy books like embarrassing to admit but Tori Spelling's autobiography, and then some other books I'd heard about and thought sounded good but wasn't committed to buying.) It was also very nice to discover that all of the TPL branches I've been in are very busy. Even in the middle of a weekday there are lots of people reading, using the computers etc. The TPL is actually one of the things I miss most about Toronto.

For this post I googled quotes about libraries and Jorge Luis Borges' was my favourite: "I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library." That is a version of paradise I would definitely love to visit.