Hares & Rabbits

I've always been fairly superstitious. I avoid the obvious like walking under ladders and I always feel a bit nervous if a black cat happens to cross my path. I also try to never open an umbrella inside. I love happening to look at the clock when it's 11:11 or 12:34 (I didn't know this one until about five years ago but I really like it; although 11:11 has better wish power I believe) and making a wish. I also have a darker superstitious side that makes me sound a bit crazy and sometimes causes me stress. If I have to go into a building and there are two doors to enter it, some weird instinct (voice maybe? except I don't really hear it rather than feel it) tells me which door I have to go through. Sometimes it switches back and forth until the last second when I have to enter a door. This also happens sometimes when I'm walking down the street and am faced with a tree or telephone pole or some other obstacle. I have to choose which side to walk around it and again the instinct will kick in. The underlying current is that if I go through the wrong door (according to this instinct) something in my life won't work out, etc. This doesn't happen all the time by any means; I think it only happens at times when I am already particularly stressed out, but that doesn't help make it any better. I could probably work on doing exercises or something to stop feeling like this, and I should. Maybe that'll be one of my goals for the summer.

Kit Pearson was one of my favourite writers when I was younger, and I still love her books today (even though it's been a while since I read one.) My favourite of her books was Looking at the Moon but her first novel - The Daring Game - was a close second. That story took place at a boarding school in Vancouver. For a while after reading it, I was really interested in reading books about boarding school. It's funny because though I liked reading books about it (mostly because it sounded so romantic and idyllic), I would never ever have wanted to go to boarding school. I would have missed my mom and dad way too much! The characters in The Daring Game taught me this superstition: on the last day of the month just before going to sleep you say "hares". Then when you wake up in the morning on the first of the month you say "rabbits." If you say these two words at the times you're supposed to say them, you should have good luck all month. Just re-reading what I wrote, saying these two words does sound a bit silly. But, I must have been doing this for 15 (if not longer) years by now and I still haven't gotten sick of it. And, truth be told, I don't really think it's silly. Many of my other superstitions have fallen to the wayside but not this one. It's just become a part of my monthly routine. Clearly doing this has not always brought me good luck, but irrationally I am convinced I will have bad luck if I don't do it.

Over the last fifteen years or so (so long!), I really can't think of a time I've missed it. I am perhaps a little too obsessed with doing it. There have been a few near misses (for example: on the night of November 30, 2004 I was hanging out with S. in his room at Stebbins in Berkeley and one thing led to another and I lost track of time. I tried to discreetly look at my watch to see what time it was but he noticed and inquired as to what I was doing. We were actually in his bed at this point and so my looking at my watch did seem a bit rude. Deciding honesty was the best policy, I explained my little superstition to him and how it was about 12:15 am and thus December 1, 2004 and uh-oh I had missed saying "hares." I still remember how he smiled and said totally seriously but also in a kind of amused way "oh shit!" Then he went back to kissing me. It's actually one of my favourite memories of him because I like how he took it seriously and didn't just laugh, think I was weird and say something to me like "who are you? and why do I like you?" To finish the story: I decided to just say "hares" in my head and told myself it still counted because I hadn't gone to sleep yet. When I woke up the next morning I said "rabbits" and December 2004 was one of my most favourite months ever so obviously being a little late didn't hurt.) but never any complete omissions. I like routine, a lot, and I think a big reason I like this superstition as opposed to some of the others is because I know exactly what to expect and what I have to do. It's not that difficult - I just have to say two words. Trying to choose/avoid doorways and obstacles in my path is never straightforward. I never understand where the instinct in my head telling me which door to go through is coming from, and that makes me a bit anxious. This I can handle much better.

I don't recommend you become as obsessive about it as I am (unless you'd like to of course) but I do recommend giving it a try tonight (or if you're reading this in April then on the night of April 30) or on the last day of any other month when you want a little bit of good luck to come your way. It may seem silly, but it's actually kind of fun.

Going Grey

A few weeks ago, after just getting home from a step class and going to the bathroom to take a shower, I saw three incredibly long grey hairs I had not seen before coming out of my head. My hair was in a ponytail, which it only ever is when I'm exercising, and I guess the way I had pulled my hair back that day exposed these long lost greys. Normally, I monitor (and regularly try to cut) my grey hairs, so seeing those new ones, which by their length had obviously been there for a long time, was a bit shocking. I think I noticed my first grey hair when I was maybe 22 or 23. I can't remember exactly but I do know that the fall I was 24 is when I noticed I had more than one. Mine are also almost white, definitely more white than grey, which is a bit odd. I still call them grey hairs though just because it seems even weirder to have white hair.

The only friend I ever really talk about grey hair with is J. She also has long grey hairs which she dislikes and cuts. According to J., there is a link between not drinking milk and having grey hair. I hate milk and never drink it. She doesn't like it either. Maybe the study she read is true.

At one point, I would love it if I could just sit in a chair and someone would go through my hair, find all the grey hairs and cut them out. I wanted J. to do this when I visited her in Buenos Aires last year but I never ended up asking as it seemed a bit of an odd request. I'm not great with scissors and cutting though and often I cut out a bunch of regular brown hairs when trying to cut the one grey (or white) one. I need to find someone willing to do this for me :)

I still distinctly remember when A. told me that Taylor Hicks (see picture below) who had just won American Idol (this was back in 2006) was not in fact in his 40s, but was only 29. I didn't watch American Idol and therefore had only ever seen pictures of Hicks and had not really seen or considered his face up close. Discovering that he was 29 and not 45 was both surprising, and brought home for me the horrors of going prematurely grey. I read an article sometime recently on the Huff Po's Style page about grey hair now being popular in the fashion world. I really don't get it. Why would you want to go grey before your time voluntarily? I guess it is cool that some people, like Taylor Hicks, just own their grey-hairness. I, however, do not think I could be one of them.

Two people at the law school, both as far as I know in their 20s or max early 30s, have patches of exclusively grey hair while the rest of their heads have normal brown or blond (as the case may be) hair. I know it's mean to dislike features of other people's personal appearances in general, and features over which they have no control, in particular, but I really dislike grey patches. I really hope I never get one. If I did, I know I would have to dye it, which is something I would not want to do as I have always prided myself on never having dyed my hair, not even as a 13 year old when it seemed all my friends wanted to try having purple (or plum as the package called it) or red hair. Even amidst those exciting options I wasn't tempted. I have always liked my dark brown hair. In addition to worrying about a grey patch, I also just really hope that I won't go prematurely grey, or even just have enough grey hairs such that they are very noticeable and hence won't look good, and have to start dying it now! I guess one day if I had a lot of greys and they were very noticeable I would consider dying my hair.

But for now, my grey hair volume has held steady, with maybe a slight increase, for the past three and a half years. This is great and means I won't have to start drinking milk anytime soon.