Internet Commentators & the Wild World Wide Web

I love the internet (no surprise there) and read several websites on a regular basis. I am not, however, a commentator on any of those sites. I remember this annoying guy I knew in grad school - he was arrogant and condescending and he hated all vegetables and never ate them (who hates all vegetables?!?) - lecturing me once on internet commentators (not sure how we got on the topic) and how so much of what is important on the internet takes places in the comments section. He said the whole point of posting something on the internet was so that someone could respond in the comments and spark this whole dialogue. I disagree(d) because often I discuss articles and posts I have read on the internet in real life with other people, thus having a dialogue in person; and because the comments sections on so many websites can be horrible, mean and nasty places.

Salon is in theory a cool website. I don't visit it anywhere near as often as I used to though, and I think a large part of that is because of the comments section. I am very surprised that Salon does not hire comments sections moderators to better control the environment in the comments. People call each other horrible names all the time and insult the writers on the site (especially female writers) on a regular basis. Overall, I find the site has a lot of misogynist and racist commentators and I can't believe the site doesn't do something about that. I think the Globe and Mail is also one of the worst, which I find off. The G and M, Canada's national newspaper as it calls itself, can be really smug and kind of annoying. I still go to its site (almost) every day because they do have pretty good news, most of the time. What completely baffles me though, is the amount of hatred and fighting that goes in the comments sections for most articles. The commentators can be so consistently cruel that it saddens me to think these are the people who read the G and M. Moreover, as with Salon, there are so many misogynists writing in the comments who consistently blame feminists and often radical feminists for all problems ever. It's really sad to read. I'm sure the majority of those commentators wouldn't ever call people (let alone complete strangers) the types of names and insults they repeatedly write in the comments sections, hiding behind their computer screens. 

When I first started reading Jezebel in 2009, I briefly entertained the thought of commentating on it. I didn't have time (or probably more accurately didn't want to make time) to be one of those commentators who would comment all the time on almost every post but the articles on the site interested me and I wanted to occasionally be able, if I felt like it, to write a comment. I decided against creating a Jezebel account, however, because you had to do a trial run. I can't remember the details anymore but you were allowed to comment a few times and if the editors of the site (and maybe other commentators I can't remember?) thought your comments were good enough you were allowed in. But if they weren't you weren't. Maybe it was really easy to get let in, I don't know... But I do remember being turned off by that because even though I thought it was very smart of Jezebel to have a whole list of commentating instructions including saying they wanted people who could write in full sentences with no spelling or grammatical errors, I just didn't feel like getting judged on my comments and possibly even turned away. I agreed with their desire to have a comment section where people valued intelligent comments, but I also just didn't want the pressure of having to write good comments to be let in in the first place.

All that said, I used to really enjoy reading the comments on Jezebel because it was a place where people wrote thoughtful, intelligent comments and when they disagreed with each other, mostly did so in a civil manner. Even though I loved the mix of celebrity gossip and serious feminist issues being discussed, I stopped reading the site once it switched over to its new format sometime in early 2011. The new interface was very user unfriendly and a lot of the best commentators left. I also found that around the time of the changeover the commentators were getting more and more annoying. A lot of the comments were so self-righteous, smug and judgmental and the disagreements started to get more and more uncivil with people saying sometimes fairly mean and cutting things to each other. I remember that some commentators would jump to conclusions about others so fast, and it started to get kind of sad to read. For a good example of what I mean, check out the comments section on this post.

I find the whole idea of people fighting in the comments sections of various websites very weird. Is it really worth it to fight (mostly) anonymously with someone you've never met over the internet? Don't you have better things to do with your time? I don't like fights in real life (who does?) but know they are sometimes necessary to work out issues, etc. Fights with strangers online seem always unnecessary to me though, and yet they happen on a fairly regular basis. A guy I knew at Berkeley, M., told me his favourite way to talk with someone about difficult issues in their friendship/ relationship/etc was through gchat (to be honest he told me this in 2006 and he really said through "AIM" but I'd like to think that by now, if he still favours chatting, he's switched to gchat) because it was a conversation happening in real time but by writing instead of speaking you were able to think a bit more about what you wanted to say. Although I prefer to talk things out face to face, his reasoning makes a lot of sense to me. Fighting with strangers in the comments sections of websites, however, doesn't.

The Hairpin is by far the best place on the internet for commentators. The (mostly female) commentators on there (and there are a lot of regulars!) almost all seem like cool, interesting people and everyone is always civil and kind to each other. There are the odd disagreements but they never descend into the pathetic fights present all over the rest of the internet. One of my favourite things to read on the Hairpin is the Friday Open Thread. Every Friday afternoon, one of the editors puts up the Friday Open Thread post in which commentators have free reign to write about whatever they want. It's amazing! I have always been interested in other people's lives - their interests, friendships, love lifes, stories, general likes and dislikes, etc. etc. - and this post provides me with windows into other people's lives every week (and in a relatively non-creepy way as they are choosing to post these things online). It's so much fun to read! In some ways I think it would be really cool to be a commentator on the Hairpin (to delurk as people say when they finally make a commentating account) but the thing is, I love lurking. I know I'd prefer the Friday Open Thread as a reader than as a contributor. I love just reading/observing the comments without actually being a part of the conversations. And, I also just don't want to make the time. I just hope The Hairpin will never go the way of Jezebel and that I can keep reading all the various insightful comments week in week out.

The Importance of Grocery Stores

I have a sort of love/hate relationship with grocery shopping. On the one hand, I love food and so buying food is all about deciding what you are going to eat for the week and that is very fun. I also like seeing all the variety and options and comparing different brands, etc. etc. On the other hand, grocery shopping can be so stressful. I am so impatient and waiting in line (especially when you are convinced every other line is moving way faster than yours and why did you have to go and get in the slowest line in the store?!!?) can be brutal. Sometimes grocery stores can be so crowded (especially on Sunday afternoons/evenings which is why I try to avoid them at those times) that just navigating through the aisles is stressful. Since moving to Montreal, I have become adept at going to grocery stores at less busy times (it helps that my schedule is flexible too!) such as on weekday mornings or actually weekend mornings, as especially before 9 am, grocery stores are very uncrowded.

Wherever I have lived I've always had a favourite grocery store. It's so important to have one! The ideal is to have a good grocery store within easy walking (or I suppose driving) distance so that you can just drop in when you need something instead of having to go far outside your area.
On my street in Paris - the oft talked about (on this blog at least) rue des Batignolles - there was a chain grocery store called Franprix and 2 fruit shops, located almost directly across the street from each other. The Franprix was okay - Franprix and Monoprix are the two main chains in Paris and they are everywhere. There was a big Monoprix about a 10 minute walk from my apt but the Franprix had most things I needed so I usually went there. The best thing about Franprix (and grocery stores in France in general) are that they sell delicious French wine for as cheap as a few euros a bottle. It beats the LCBO/SAQ/liquor stores in North America any day. Grocery stores in France will always have a special place in my heart as when I was 15 and spent three months on exchange in Beaupreau I used to get Wednesday afternoons off from school. Almost every single Wednesday, I'd spend the afternoon taking a long walk across Beaupreau way out to the other side/outskirts of the town to this huge grocery store called Super U. I would rarely buy anything there. I'd just wander the aisles and feel happy.

Now leaving the Beaupreau of 1999 and going back to the Paris of 2007 and the fruit shops. So I'm not sure how or why I chose the one of the two that I did (it was smaller actually) but I'm so glad I did because I fully became friends with the men who worked there. The owner was this older man from North Africa (I hate when people don't give specifics... I know that North Africa is not a country but I embarrassingly can't remember if he came from Morocco, Algeria or Tunisia) and three younger men worked there too. You weren't allowed to just pick/touch the fruit you wanted yourself, you had to tell whichever person happened to be available and serving you and he would get it for you, put it in bags and then weigh it and tell you how much it cost. I used to go there multiple times a week and loved it. The store had really great produce and the people who worked there were all nice and friendly. When I came back to Paris and again lived on rue des Batignolles in the summer of 2008 the owner and I were happy to see each other again.



Austin was strange (in more ways than one) because it was the only place I've lived where I always drove to the grocery store. I would occasionally go to Whole Foods but it was about a 15 minute drive from my place and not that convenient and kind of expensive. So instead, I did the majority of my grocery shopping at a store called Central Market - about a 5 minute (or less) drive from my apt. It was very similar to Whole Foods, very big and had delicious pre-made foods and homemade (store made I guess) granola. I loved Central Market - the quality of food was very high - but somehow when I think about it I think about the saying "Everything's bigger in Texas." Maybe it was because I had my car there so I knew getting all the groceries home wouldn't be a problem but I remember always using a cart there instead of just baskets like I do/have done everywhere else. I must have always been buying a lot of food. Even though carrying groceries home can be a big pain in the ass, I still prefer being able to walk to the grocery store than having to drive.



This post would not be complete without mention of Berkeley Bowl (annoyingly called "the Bowl" by some people), a big grocery store in Berkeley near the apt I lived in second year. Since I left Berkeley in 2006, a new Berkeley Bowl has opened up in another part of Berkeley closer to the freeway. Apparently that has made some dent in the amount of people who shop at the original Berkeley Bowl, which is a good thing because I have never seen a grocery store get as crowded as that one. Going there on Saturdays and Sundays was just a bad idea (yet I still often did it... I don't know why.) The parking lot would be absolutely jammed, the aisles would be clogged and the line ups to check out would stretch for miles. In retrospect, I am not sure why it was that crowded. Yes it was undeniably a good grocery store and carried good products - especially lots of varieties of cheese and good produce. But, I've been to lots of other grocery stores that are just as good and do not have the same aura around them that Berkeley Bowl had. My favourite Berkeley Bowl memories come from my last year in Berkeley when I lived over on Hilgard. On Saturdays, I would walk (a long-ish walk) from my apt to Berkeley Bowl, and without fail S. (who is so generous and such a good friend!!) would pick me up in her little red car and drive me home with all my groceries. I loved our conversations, and I was very grateful for S. always giving me rides.

Another reason why I don't get the Berkeley Bowl aura is that in the other places I've lived since Berkeley I have always found grocery stores that are just as good - like Central Market, and here in Montreal, this store called PA. When deciding to move last spring, one of my qualifications was that I needed to stay near PA. Happily, I live about a 3 minute walk from it now. It's not that big - but it packs so much in. It has amazing cheese, yogurt and produce sections (and the produce is so cheap!) and a decent selection of everything else. My favourite times to go to PA are early in the morning, but I have learned not to go too early as all these employees (for a small grocery store they have so many!) are still putting out the produce between 8 (when it opens) until past 9; and when walking home from having dinner at Figaro as it is usually not that crowded after 9/9:30 pm (it stays open until 11 pm every day). They are also really nice there - I love Liberté maple yogurt (I was so glad to discover it because the thing I miss the most about living in the US, other than my friends of course :) is Brown Cow yogurt. Throughout my time at Berkeley and in Austin, I ate Brown Cow Vanilla or Maple flavoured cream top yogurt every day. I still always make sure I eat some whenever I go back to the States, even if just for a weekend. I thought I'd never find another yogurt I liked as much, let alone a maple flavoured one, but alas I did!) and always buy it at PA but for about 2 weeks I wasn't seeing any. One night I was there and I asked one of the employees. She got the manager, who is this really nice other woman, who said she'd look into it for me and sure enough the next time I was at PA (a few days later) the maple was back on the shelf and has been since.





Finally to close, I love grocery stores in Toronto too! Out on Yonge Street near my house there are multiple little fruit stores that always have great deals on raspberries. Given that I just wrote a fairly long blog post about grocery stores, I obviously fall clearly on the love (with hate at the other end) side of the spectrum.