Yeah I know you warned me but this is too important

One evening in Cheney Hall, my dorm first year at Berkeley, in the early spring of 2003, S. and I ended up in these two guys - E. and F. - on our floor's room playing that game UNO. Anyway, E. was playing The Strokes' album Is This It. Other than "Last Nite" I hadn't heard any Strokes songs and hadn't been that interested in the band. That all changed that fateful night. The music was so good! E. kindly agreed to burn me a copy of the cd and for the next 7 months, I listened to that cd non-stop. I remember so distinctly walking across campus to class one day in April 2003 listening to Is This It on my discman (oh yeah!) and realizing how happy I was. It was a great feeling and one I realized I had really really missed feeling my entire last year of high school. It was a gorgeous day - really sunny and Berkeley's campus was super green - and the Strokes were awesome and I was so glad I was done with UTS and happily living my life on the other side of the continent.

In September 2003, L. and I started hanging out all the time. So naturally I asked her if she wanted to go see The Strokes with me when they came to San Francisco in October. Despite not really knowing their music that well, she agreed.We went along with 3 other girls (including S.) on October 21, 2003. The show was at the Bill Graham Civic Auditorium (really just this big room more than an auditorium) and Regina Spektor and then Kings of Leon were the opening acts (which is funny because L & I became huge Kings of Leon fans 2 years later but that night we just wanted them to finish so the Strokes would come on). That was the best show I had ever attended at that point in my life and definitely still among the top 3 best shows I've ever been to (the other two being Broken Social Scene in DC in November 2006 and Kings of Leon in Paris in June 2007). Usually I would be shy at shows and just kind of stand there (I still usually do that now... :) ) but that show was different. We were really packed in, we were close to the front and to the Strokes, we were all dancing and singing along to the songs we knew - it was so fun!! It also solidified L and I's friendship because after that show we became even closer.

For the next week both L and I listened to Is This It on repeat and then on October 28th the Strokes' second album (which they played most of the songs on at the show) Room on Fire came out. Room on Fire will always always always be my favourite Strokes album and one of my favourite albums in general. I played it constantly and could still probably tell you every word on it, despite not listening to it much recently. If I were to be stranded on a desert island and could only take 5 albums, it would be on the list. If I could only take one, I'd probably take it just because I know I don't get sick of it and because even 9 years later, I still think it's really great.

That album was also the soundtrack to a particularly intense period of my life. I was 19, almost 20, and finally felt like I knew and understood something about life and intense romantic feelings (super cheesy but true!). The title of this blog post comes from the third song on Room on Fire Automatic Stop. I always felt, even at the time, like B., right from the start, warned me things didn't have the same meaning for him but that I couldn't help feeling those things anyway because to me, all these new and exciting feelings, just felt too important. And even 9 years later, that time in my life is still important to me and I still think that line applies really well. 

In my last semester at Berkeley in spring 2006, the Strokes' 3rd album - First Impressions of Earth - came out. I used to listen to it (now on my ipod) every day as I walked from my apt to North Gate and then across campus to my Portuguese class. I liked it but it didn't have anywhere near the same appeal or instant obsession to it as Is This It or Room on Fire had. L. and I went to see them again in San Francisco in March 2006 but I remember more about walking to BART and then walking home to my apt once we got back to Berkeley in the rain more than I remember the actual show... And so while I still considered the Strokes one of my favourite bands by summer 2006, I had stopped actively listening to them. 

In late 2009, Julian Casablancas released a solo album. There was an article about him in the NY Times at the time, which I read with interest and even forwarded to L., but for some reason which is beyond me I didn't even think to buy his cd. I think if it had been a Strokes cd I would have definitely bought it but even though Julian Casablancas was - and always will be - my favourite Stroke, I just wasn't that interested in buying it. That all changed in the summer of 2010, though, when M. gave me a bunch of music, his solo album included. I loved it - especially the first three songs which I listened to over and over. I instantly felt remorse that I hadn't supported Julian enough in the fall and I remember spending one summer evening in my living room reading article after article about him (and getting more and more intrigued) as the light faded outside. 

In March 2011, the Strokes released their first album in 5 years. I like it a lot. I didn't listen to it anywhere near as much as I listened to any of their other albums but it definitely had that distinctive Strokes sound which I had missed the last 5 years. I listened to it a lot at first but I don't often listen to it now and I rarely listen to the whole thing through (I like the first 5 songs way better than the last 5) but the worst part is that L. (although her little brother bought her the cd, how sweet!) didn't really like it that much. That was the worst part because it made it clear that the period in our lives when the Strokes was both of our favourite band was really and truly over.

Sometimes it seems sad my obsession with them is over but what's sadder in a way is that L. and I don't have that obsession together anymore. It makes sense though because I don't get as intense about bands in the way I did when I was 19 and 20. I think that's just part of growing up. And while L. and I may not be discussing and/or listening to the Strokes non-stop anymore, we're a) discussing other things and b) will always have that time in our lives to be happy about.

Before I end, just for fun, here is a list of my top 6 (I couldn't pick just 5) favourite Strokes songs (in no particular order and this was so hard, I pretty much like every song on Is This It and Room on Fire) 1. Reptilia 2. What Ever Happened? 3.  The End Has No End 4. Is This It 5.  Hard to Explain and 6. Automatic Stop
Happy Listening!!

My days as a Young & the Restless Fangirl

From about when I was 9 all through the rest of elementary school and into middle school, I loved watching the soap opera the Young and the Restless (or Y&R as it's known to fans :) ). My babysitter, A., liked it and we used to watch it together when she babysat me. I became hooked and pretty soon I was a very devoted fan. Thinking back, A. was probably a little freaked out by how intense I became about the show. It wasn't even a question of whether I wanted to watch it when she babysat me. Of course we were going to watch it and then discuss it for a long time afterwards!! Y&R aired (and probably still does?) Monday - Friday from 4:30-5:30 pm on Global. It also aired from 12:30-1:30 pm on CBS although these ones were one day behind the episodes airing on Global. The Bold and the Beautiful - created by the same people as Y&R - aired on CBS right after and I would sometimes watch that show too. My mom wasn't happy about me watching Y&R at first and told me I wasn't allowed but after I kept sneaking it (and would watch it when A. babysat) she relented and let me watch it as often as I wanted. 

Y&R took place in the fictional Genoa City, Wisconsin. Things I remember about the show: whenever any of the characters went on vacation they'd always go to St. Thomas in the US Virgin Islands; all the main families on the show owned cosmetics companies and lived in huge mansions; and it was very common for the same man to have been married (or to have been engaged or have an affair with) a mother and her daughter and for the same woman to have been married (or to have been engaged or have an affair with) a father and a son. I've been googling a lot of the main characters - Victor Newman, Nikki Newman, Jack Abbott, Sharon Newman - and they all look exactly the same as they did when I stopped watching the show in the 90s! People in soap opera land seem to never age. Soap operas exist in their own alternate universe where time works differently - a character would have a baby and then within a few months the child would be 5. Then the character wouldn't be on the show for about 2 years only to come back as a teenager or even in their 20s. It makes sense, of course, because 5 year olds can't be involved in love triangles and power struggles and all the other things that go on on these shows but it was always a bit disconcerting to see the mom and dad look the same but to now have way older kids (who soon enough they'd be sharing romantic partners with). Nothing was ever permanent in Genoa City - marriages never lasted (although the remarriage rate is very high there!), people would die but then have faked their death and come back to life a few years later - and this (all these things really) could seem good or bad depending on the type of person you are or even just your mood that day.

I can't remember how long I consistently watched Y & R for but I think my heyday was probably from about 1994-1996. As you likely know, I have always loved writing letters and cards. Naturally, this extended to soap stars. This was back before the internet (or at least before the internet became something most people had in their homes/at least had regular access to) and so I must have gotten the address from the TV (they probably posted it at the end). I can't think how else I would have gotten it (unless it was Soap Opera Digest?) Anyway, you could just write to Y & R stars care of CBS headquarters in Los Angeles. I can't remember if I addressed the letters to the character's name or the actor's name but it's more likely it was the character's name as the only way I would have gotten the actor's name would have been from Soap Opera Digest. I have no idea what I wrote to them and desperately wish I had copies of the letters I sent. I probably just gushed about how cool they were and how much I loved the show.

Cricket is so pretty! And she is a Legal Aid Lawyer!

My two favourite characters/actors were Christine (nickname Cricket) Blair who was sooooo pretty and a lawyer. I loved her. And Brad Carlton. I don't remember that much about Brad except that he was the Vice President of something at Newman Enterprises (Victor Newman's company) and was soooo dreamy. Happily, I received signed pictures from both Cricket and Brad!! (or Lauralee Bell and Don Diamont - the actor's names.) Lauralee even signed hers (and I still remember this almost 20 years later!) "To Sara Lytton (well actually my real name but for the purposes of this blog I'll stick with that :) ) - love" and then her signature. Brad Carlton also signed a picture and sent it to me and it is identical to the picture below except it was addressed to me! (See pictures above & below - the Lauralee Bell one is currently for sale for $24.99 as a collectible on Amazon!) In addition to them, I wrote to and received signed pictures from so many other Y&R stars. I decorated the bulletin board I had in my bedroom with all the signed pictures I received. It was so fun!! I obviously eventually took those pictures down but I wonder so much if they're still in a box somewhere in my house. I hope so so I can find them one day (and maybe sell them on Amazon haha).

This is the exact picture Brad sent me!

Victor Newman aka Eric Braeden

In July 2006 my dad and I went to Berlin. We took one of those boat cruises that go up and down the river and let you see different sights. We love and always go on boat cruises (if they are available) in new cities. Anyway, two things still stick really clearly from that ride: 1. the guy selling us the tickets knew we didn't speak German yet still sold us tickets and neglected to tell us the entire tour would be in German and that there wouldn't be those headphones available that offer the commentary in other languages; and 2. Victor Newman (aka Eric Braeden - the actor's name, aka the most powerful man in Genoa City and the founder of Newman Enterprises) was on the boat too! I was so excited! I had read somewhere that he was German and there he was in Germany, with 3 other people, chatting away in German. It was really surreal. I had never seen Victor outside of Genoa City (except maybe he went on vacation to St. Thomas? I can't remember) but anyway, it was just so weird to be on a boat ride in Berlin with Victor Newman. My dad wanted me to ask him for his autograph but I was too shy. I didn't even sneak a photo. But I haven't forgotten what he looked like (identical to on TV... :) )

I don't think I ever made a conscious decision not to watch Y&R anymore, it was just more of a slow fade out as I often wasn't home between 4:30-5:30 (and was never home unless I was sick) between 12:30-1:30. I haven't been tempted to watch it again but I could see myself watching an episode again if the opportunity presented itself. I am just glad that Y&R is still going strong. Over the past few years, All My Children, Guiding Light, As the World Turns, One Life to Live were all cancelled. I didn't watch any of them but I still think it's sad they're over. Now the only original soaps left are Y&R, Bold and the Beautiful, Days of Our Lives, and General Hospital.

Last September, I read an article in the New York Times Magazine about soap operas by a writer named Rebecca Traister. (Read it! It's really good!) She discussed how in their early days, soap operas provided all sorts of opportunities for women (to be creators, writers, and actors on these shows) that other TV shows and Hollywood didn't provide. Because so many soap opera writers were women, Traister asserts, they created dynamic female characters: "women generated the action; they didn't just respond to it." Traister also explains that "Instead of playing girlfriends and mothers to male heroes, soap women were the planets around which an array of husbands, lovers, and colleagues mooned." While Traister argues that the remaining soaps have changed somewhat and now have a lot of storylines focused on younger characters (many of them male), the gender equal nature of soap operas' history is something I didn't know about before and am glad I know about now.

This post on Y&R has made me miss the show a bit. I think ultimately the reason I liked it so much was for a theme that continually comes up on this blog and in my life: I love stories about people (especially their personal lives) and soap operas provide lots of that. I definitely feel that watching Y&R as a kid opened my eyes to the exciting and dramatic things that were possible in the world.