When I wake up in my makeup

I've never been much of a makeup girl. In fact, L.'s mom (yet a different L. than the ones before! I have so many friends whose name starts with the letter L) once told me (when I visited L. and her family in Dallas a few years ago) "I'm going natural tonight - just like you!" I think my decision not to wear makeup, however, stems from my inability to do a good job putting it on; not because I don't think it looks good or because I prefer looking 'natural.'

Back in the fall of 2004 when I lived at Stebbins, my fabulous roommate C. was an expert at putting on makeup (both herself and other people). Before parties (and I used to go to a lot of parties in those days, far more than I go to now :) I'd always get C. to do my makeup. I'd sit there obediently while she worked her magic, and when I'd look at myself in the mirror after she was done I always felt transformed, like Cinderella going to the ball. My eyes seemed bigger, brighter, and I felt more mysterious. And happily that feeling would last all night, and usually beyond... Since I didn't regularly wear makeup, I didn't have any makeup remover and regular soap just doesn't do the trick. After brushing my teeth and rubbing a washcloth around my eyes, I'd fall into bed with my makeup still on and the next morning, I'd always be surprised at who was staring back at me in the mirror. Far from feeling used up (as the Hole song suggests) when I'd wake up in my makeup, I actually liked it. Sure my makeup was a bit smudged and faded, but I thought I looked good. My eyes may have been tired, but the black eyeliner still managed to brighten them up. My still made up face also represented tangible proof that I had gone out, that the really fun party the night before had occurred, that I was still the Princess with the glass slippers, and not the maid standing dejectedly on the road next to a pumpkin.

This past summer, I decided I wanted to start wearing eyeliner again, even though I no longer had a C. who could put it on for me. I asked N. for tips when I visited her in July. When I came back to Toronto in August I went promptly to the drug store and bought Cover Girl Exact Eyelights in Vibrant Pearl (aka black). Though N. cautioned me that black is pretty dramatic, I tried out brown a few times and decided I just didn't like it. If I'm going to wear eyeliner, it has to be black. I'm still not very good at putting it on but I can do a decent enough job. I've only worn it a handful of times this fall, and always at night, but I really liked it. It brought back some of that mysterious vibe I had going for me in Fall 2004, and I do think it makes my eyes look good. I've decided my makeup goals for 2010 should be to try wearing it during the daytime a few times and see how it feels, and perhaps even to try lipstick. Exciting!