Hares & Rabbits

I've always been fairly superstitious. I avoid the obvious like walking under ladders and I always feel a bit nervous if a black cat happens to cross my path. I also try to never open an umbrella inside. I love happening to look at the clock when it's 11:11 or 12:34 (I didn't know this one until about five years ago but I really like it; although 11:11 has better wish power I believe) and making a wish. I also have a darker superstitious side that makes me sound a bit crazy and sometimes causes me stress. If I have to go into a building and there are two doors to enter it, some weird instinct (voice maybe? except I don't really hear it rather than feel it) tells me which door I have to go through. Sometimes it switches back and forth until the last second when I have to enter a door. This also happens sometimes when I'm walking down the street and am faced with a tree or telephone pole or some other obstacle. I have to choose which side to walk around it and again the instinct will kick in. The underlying current is that if I go through the wrong door (according to this instinct) something in my life won't work out, etc. This doesn't happen all the time by any means; I think it only happens at times when I am already particularly stressed out, but that doesn't help make it any better. I could probably work on doing exercises or something to stop feeling like this, and I should. Maybe that'll be one of my goals for the summer.

Kit Pearson was one of my favourite writers when I was younger, and I still love her books today (even though it's been a while since I read one.) My favourite of her books was Looking at the Moon but her first novel - The Daring Game - was a close second. That story took place at a boarding school in Vancouver. For a while after reading it, I was really interested in reading books about boarding school. It's funny because though I liked reading books about it (mostly because it sounded so romantic and idyllic), I would never ever have wanted to go to boarding school. I would have missed my mom and dad way too much! The characters in The Daring Game taught me this superstition: on the last day of the month just before going to sleep you say "hares". Then when you wake up in the morning on the first of the month you say "rabbits." If you say these two words at the times you're supposed to say them, you should have good luck all month. Just re-reading what I wrote, saying these two words does sound a bit silly. But, I must have been doing this for 15 (if not longer) years by now and I still haven't gotten sick of it. And, truth be told, I don't really think it's silly. Many of my other superstitions have fallen to the wayside but not this one. It's just become a part of my monthly routine. Clearly doing this has not always brought me good luck, but irrationally I am convinced I will have bad luck if I don't do it.

Over the last fifteen years or so (so long!), I really can't think of a time I've missed it. I am perhaps a little too obsessed with doing it. There have been a few near misses (for example: on the night of November 30, 2004 I was hanging out with S. in his room at Stebbins in Berkeley and one thing led to another and I lost track of time. I tried to discreetly look at my watch to see what time it was but he noticed and inquired as to what I was doing. We were actually in his bed at this point and so my looking at my watch did seem a bit rude. Deciding honesty was the best policy, I explained my little superstition to him and how it was about 12:15 am and thus December 1, 2004 and uh-oh I had missed saying "hares." I still remember how he smiled and said totally seriously but also in a kind of amused way "oh shit!" Then he went back to kissing me. It's actually one of my favourite memories of him because I like how he took it seriously and didn't just laugh, think I was weird and say something to me like "who are you? and why do I like you?" To finish the story: I decided to just say "hares" in my head and told myself it still counted because I hadn't gone to sleep yet. When I woke up the next morning I said "rabbits" and December 2004 was one of my most favourite months ever so obviously being a little late didn't hurt.) but never any complete omissions. I like routine, a lot, and I think a big reason I like this superstition as opposed to some of the others is because I know exactly what to expect and what I have to do. It's not that difficult - I just have to say two words. Trying to choose/avoid doorways and obstacles in my path is never straightforward. I never understand where the instinct in my head telling me which door to go through is coming from, and that makes me a bit anxious. This I can handle much better.

I don't recommend you become as obsessive about it as I am (unless you'd like to of course) but I do recommend giving it a try tonight (or if you're reading this in April then on the night of April 30) or on the last day of any other month when you want a little bit of good luck to come your way. It may seem silly, but it's actually kind of fun.